I’ve missed and/or jumbled up my days. My participation has not been 100% on #DearJune either, but I’m okay with that. Well, I think about it a bit, because I couldn’t be me if I didn’t let it bother me a little, but not so bad as it might have done. I give myself a frowny face and then move on.
Anyway, here’s the post I made on Instagram for (what I think was) Day 7, the prompt being “risks.”
On the heels of a post that felt entirely appropriate at the time – and I will not deny my own experience of things – but in the light of day I realize was…an emotional reaction, and possibly not the best representation of the situation…this post means a lot to me. It reminds of the risks I took when I decided to give my submission and my love to another. Neither of those was given with the disclaimer, “but only if it works out perfectly in the end.” (Whatever that means.) It means that I was willing to risk loving again, no matter the consequences, because I cannot live and not love.
I could wish that I had taken a more careful inventory of the…extenuating circumstances…under which this relationship was undertaken, and the particulars of the personalities and the dynamics involved, but (again) I am me, and far be it for me to exercise too much caution. I really do fling myself headlong into love and life.
So, here I am. Working through it (in some fashion) and taking the risks that it might all just fall apart, or be something I have to end eventually. But meanwhile…in spite of the downs, there are some really awesome ups.