A Self-Care Champion

Damn I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately. Well, not “writing” writing – you know, hot, steamy, messy, sexy writing – but lots of the writing that I originally created my blog for. It didn’t start out as a sex blog. I think that evolution happened with W. I was having all these amazing sexy encounters (with accompanying pics) and…well, I wanted to show them off. What we were doing, in images and words. I have never been able to color inside the lines, though, so my blog became a story as well, not just a series of encounters. It became the story of our lives – W’s, Ad’s and mine – as well as an account of all the sex we got up to. I really wanted to write about relationship dynamics, about being poly in a mono world, about being kinky in a non-kink world, and I did, to a degree. But most of what I published was about sex, straight-up. W loved it. Ad never read or looked at it. I’m not sure how V feels about it. And me? Well, I’m still here, plunking away at the keyboard.

Tonight I don’t feel much like meandering down the streets and alleys of what’s going on in my relationships; in my head; in my heart. I kinda just want to…write. A prompt, maybe? Wicked Wednesday – Champion? Or how about the current Food for Thought Friday – Self Care. Or, oooh…the Kink of the Week – Erotic Hypnosis prompt, perhaps? Or, oh, here’s one with one of my all-time favorite paintings, Friday Flash #25 – His Favorite Girl. Decisions, decisions.

Actually, I think I can kill two birds with one stone – write two prompts in one post.

Food for Thought Friday is about self-care. And Wicked Wednesday is called, “champion.”

Do you take time for self-care? What do you do for yourself? How often do you take time for it?

What do you think of when you hear the word “champion”? Is there someone that is a champion to you?


Self-care is something I have learned to take very seriously. It used to be that “self-care” meant indulging in an ice cream cone once in awhile. Or deliberately slowing down and taking a breather, asking W to help me say no to too many obligations, taking a hot bath by myself.

It’s a whole ‘nother animal, now.

I don’t think I needed as much self-care, then. I had two relationships that filled my world, two men who loved me and cosseted me and made “Jade-care” a thing they did for me – and “W” and “Adam-care” was a thing I did for them. It had nothing to do with W’s and my D/s dynamic – it was an expression of our love, each for the other. Even W and Adam’s friendship became part of that. Self-care was more about not letting myself get too overwhelmed, with making myself slow down and appreciate life rather than running through it full tilt, about letting myself have a day of no responsibilities every so often. And the guys knew that, and made sure it happened.

They were my champions.


Now I am my own champion. And self-care is something I have learned the importance of, and honed my skill at, and make myself do regularly. No one else is going to do it for me (“self” care, right?) And I have oh-so-many-more reasons to need it. So I have spent a good portion of the last 18 months learning to be my own champion. Learning the value of self-care, and how and when to administer it.

I even have a dry erase board with prompts for when I am feeling low and forget that I can do things to make myself feel better.


…might be the walk I take at the park at lunch, instead of eating lunch at my desk.

…or packing the week’s homemade lunches in little daily containers so I have something healthy to eat – without having to scramble to put it together in the morning – rather then giving myself an excuse to get Micky D’s.

…or it could be a long walk by the lake to this little lakeside cafe I enjoy, there to have dinner by myself on the patio, listening to whatever band is playing.

…or maybe making sure I get a full night’s sleep.

Working in my yard is another form of self-care. Growing things, either for beauty or food, gives me a quiet pleasure – and feeling of order – that is soothing when the rest of my world feels like it is careening out of control. I think crocheting has this same effect.

This week self-care was re-activating my YMCA membership for the fall/winter, so when I want to, I can go swimming, and hopefully stop pining for my lost ability to run. Swimming is definitely self-care. It calms my mind, makes me feel refreshed. And, as I have come to recognize, so is any kind of exercise. It really isn’t about toning or strengthening or achieving anything anymore. It’s simply about self-care. It quiets the hamster-head.

Self-care is learning to enjoy – immensely – my time alone, whether I fill it with activities or choose to veg and read a book or nap under a shade tree.

What about sex?

In the Food for Thought Friday blog, the question was asked about whether sex is an act of self-care. Or where it fits in with self-care. I think, maybe, masturbation used to fulfill that role. But my sex is so completely controlled by V now that it’s hard to describe it that way. It’s less about myself, even when I pleasure myself, because it is done at his order, or with his permission. Maybe when I ask for an orgasm, that is about self-care. Maybe. I’d have to give that some thought.


  1. @F4TFriday

    The “care” element is important but I think the key is “self”. It’s all those little things, the individual joys and pleasures that are so important to focus on and help us maintain our balance when life pulls us in so many directions.

    1. Jade Post author

      I agree…we each define what “care” means to us, and so, of course, it is different for everyone. That it is important and elemental to ourselves is what makes it work.

  2. julie

    You are so right about the things that can constitute self care, things that we might not realise – like a walk instead of lunch at the desk. A very thought provoking post. xx

  3. ancilla ksst

    Today self care means logging off of facebook for me and not listening to the news. I just can’t handle being so upset all the time. And I’m taking my Pokemon for a walk!

    1. Jade Post author

      We should be friends in Pokemon! I am 6719 7301 6751. Always happy to make a new Pokemon friend. Honestly sometimes I think Pokemon has kept me sane at times recently…

      1. ancilla ksst

        Yes! I have two accounts, so I’ll send you the smaller one where I still need more friends. The name is PepperPotts2. I started over with a new one when I hit level 40 on the first one.

        1. Jade Post author

          I didn’t read this before I got your request, but I assumed that was you. Cute!

          Also, level 40? Damn woman, you are a true warrior. I aspire to live up to your Pokemon prowess!

    1. Jade Post author

      I wish I could say “totally” under control…sometimes it’s still a fight to make myself do the things I know are good for me. But I’m getting there.

      And I understand not having the reality for a day with no responsibilities. It’s hard to come by – especially in a life as filled with responsibility as yours is.

  4. Molly

    Bath’s work for me as does exercise and taking photos. One I have been making myself do this year is reading more too. At first it was a struggle but now I am really enjoying it and have got through 14 books this year.


    1. Jade Post author

      You should post your reading list sometime! I “read” a lot via Audible, and I have been making myself read more for real, but it is a bit of a struggle; to grant myself that time.


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